Motivation Myths

Myth 1: Motivation is something you've got or you haven't

Fact: Motivation levels are different in different people. Some people seem to be highly motivated most of the time. But before you think you are one of those people with low motivation think again. Generally we are motivated by things that matter to us, by the things we value, that are meaningful and purposeful to us. Those people who are highly motivated often have a very compelling reason to be motivated; the more compelling the reason the higher the motivation. For most people it is a matter of finding out what it is that compels them and motivation will follow.

Myth 2: You need to be positive in order to be motivated

Fact: While perhaps not obvious on the surface, you might be surprised to learn that fear is often a motivator. Most people would have heard of the carrot or stick principle; move towards the carrot and away from the stick. Some people are motivated by the reward, the gain, while others might be more motivated by fear, discomfort, potential loss or pain. Gain and pain are both strong motivating factors. In many cases it is not one or the other but a combination of both.

If you really fear something for example, say that you might lose everything you have worked for then you might be extra motivated to work hard to succeed. The fear of illness or being obese will often motivate people to stay fit and healthy. If you don't pay your mortgage you might lose your house, if you don't pay your taxes you might be in trouble with the law etc. etc. This secondary or 'negative' motivation motivates more people than you think. It is preferable to be motivated by real desire rather than by fear, but remember that you will not only be motivated for positive reasons. You might desire to be very successful as you fear insignificance or not living a purposeful life. It's important to be aware of what fuels your motivation and if that is what you really want.

Myth 3: You have to be motivated before you start anything

Fact: This is why so many people never achieve their goals! It is like waiting for the motivation bus...it isn't coming and it never will. Don't wait! You need to get up, start moving and get going. True, sometimes the first steps might be the hardest to take. Remember that motivation means 'movement' and movement is something you can activate by creating momentum. Have you ever seen someone pulling a truck or jumbo jet on their own? Once the truck or plane starts rolling momentum is created and less effort is required. Once movement is activated, it is easier to keep it going than to make it move in the first place. In other words 'Just Do It'!

Myth 4: You think you can be motivated without a clear and specific goal

Fact: When you want to travel to a destination, first you need to know where you want to go. Like the saying in Alice in Wonderland "If you don't know where you are going, any road will get you there". Imagine going to a train station and asking for a ticket, the first question asked will be 'Where to?' First you need to know where you want to go and you need a reason for wanting to go there. You need to feel the excitement of reaching your destination. The feeling of arriving at your destination needs to be more powerful than the feeling of staying where you are.

The more compelling the reason, the more it aligns with what is important to you, the more you will be 'pulled' towards it. You need to imagine and have a vivid picture in your mind (as well of external representations such as a vision board) of what this destination looks like. If you have no idea what your goal or your destination looks like and how you will feel when you get there, then why would you want to go there in the first place? You generally can't be motivated for motivation sake. You need a compelling reason and a clear purpose; somewhere to direct your attention and focus your energy.

Myth 5: You should be motivated all the time

Fact: While this might be true for some people, for most of us there are times when motivation wanes. There might be some obstacles along the way, challenges or difficulties that appear to stand in the way of reaching your destination. While some people become more determined, others might get disheartened. It is unrealistic to expect there won't be times when you might want to give up and go 'back home' to what is familiar. Remember that after the initial period there is often a time when the desire and excitement diminishes. During these times it is especially important to keep the momentum going; keep that plane or truck rolling! The key is to keep the momentum going even though part of the journey might be uphill at certain times. Remember to always keep the end in mind clearly and firmly.

Myth 6: Motivation is the same as using will power

Fact: When the going gets tough there may be times when you need to put your shoulder to the grindstone. But if your journey is only driven by will power, you are likely to tire and it's unlikely that you will succeed. If you are clear about why you want to reach your destination, together with a real desire to get there, you will use your inspiration rather than relying on will power alone. Strong desire and emotionally connecting to the excitement of reaching your destination is far more powerful than using sheer will power. Without engaging your emotions and feelings (the subconscious and the limbic part of your brain), you have to work much harder. Inspiration is more powerful than perspiration.

Myth 7: When you are motivated it gets easier and easier

Fact: "The old Gods will always come and challenge you at the border of the country that you are leaving". You want to change something and move away from a current situation, in order to achieve a goal. For most people there comes a stage which is called the point of greatest resistance. It is often when you least expect it. All of a sudden something pulls you back and stops you from moving forward. This is often just before you are about to succeed. Why? Just like being tied to an elastic band, the further you move away the stronger the pullback. The point of greatest resistance occurs just before the elastic band breaks and you hurdle forward.

In psychology this is called a 'pay off' or a 'hidden benefit'. At some point the 'pay' off, the 'benefit' of not 'travelling' any further motivates you more than the destination. Well engrained habits have a lot of pullback power. That part of you that is attached to the old habits will pull you back (especially after 3-4 weeks and then again at a later stage) as it does not want to lose those 'benefits'. When you want to move to a new way; a new world or a new country so to speak, the old habits will often try to call you back. This is one of the most important aspects to understand in the motivation process, yet it is often not addressed in popular motivation information. Why would that part of you that just wants to 'stay home' and blob in front of the TV get excited and co-operate with another part of you that wants to actively pursue your goals? You need to negotiate with these various and often conflicting aspects within yourself so they come on board. Once you understand and effectively address the pullback factor, you are far more likely to succeed.

Myth 8: People believe they are lazy

Fact: Believe it or not you are always motivated. Is a teenager lazy for not wanting to tidy up his or her room? NO! Their motivation just lies elsewhere. They might be motivated to go out with their friends, play video games or sleep. They value these things much more than tidying up their room. There is always motivation, although sometimes the motivation 'movement' might not necessarily go in a direction that is constructive or useful. So next time you think you are 'lazy' replace that thought with, I am not motivated. Labelling yourself or others as 'lazy' is very unhelpful. Labelling someone or something means that it is a fait accompli (an irreversible fact). There is nothing much that you can do about it. Exploring what does and what does not motivate you is the key to addressing motivation.

Myth 9: You've got to try harder

Fact: A real indication of lack of motivation is when we use the word 'try'. 'I will try' means I am not really committed but I feel I 'should' be. Rather than choosing to do something because we really want to, we give it a try. Have you ever met someone that has been trying to give up smoking? Answer one question: Do they or don't they smoke? The answer is they are still smoking. If they weren't they would not be trying to give it up, they would have done it. How well do you think it works when you feel you 'should' give up smoking, 'should' lose weight, 'should' drink less or 'should' exercise more, when you don't really want to?

The problem is with the implication of the word trying. Trying means it is not happening because there is not a firm decision or commitment made. I know people that have made a very clear, firm and conscious decision to smoke, despite knowing the dangers. While it is not a choice that I would make, I respect their decision. Why? They stopped the struggle.

Make up your mind, consider the cost-benefits and make a decision. The space between doing and not doing is called ambivalence. Continuously dancing 'the ambivalence dance' is very tiring, disempowering and ultimately does not get you anywhere. Stop trying; just do it or don't! Ultimately it is that easy.

Myth 10: All you need is a destination, motivation and inspiration

Fact: You need to keep on track to reach your destination, but if you haven't got a map, then what track are you on? Without a strategy it is far too easy to stray from your intended destination, your intended goal. If you haven't got a good map or navigation system you might find that all of a sudden you have come back to the place you started from. You can have all the motivation in the world, but if you leave home without knowing where you are going or how far you have travelled, you're going to feel lost and discouraged and more than likely, you will give up.

Having a system that keeps you focused and on the right track is extremely important, especially during times when your motivation is low. Having a clear vision of your destination, knowing where you're at and keeping track of your travels and progress is one of the most essential aspects as it encourages you and leads you to act. This is such an important and fundamental element of achieving what you want to achieve, yet it's probably one of the most neglected. There is so much information about motivation yet often the most important aspects are absent. Many people, books and products can inspire you and get you on your way, but that is the easy part. After that you are left to your own devices and this is why most people don't stay the course or reach their intended destination.

Determining where you want to go and understanding the all-important why factor as well as having access to practical tools, resources and support to help get you there (from start to finish) is what people really need to succeed. With this in mind, using a specifically tailored system to help you stay on track is the most beneficial tool one can use.

Numerous studies have shown that people who set goals consistently achieve more in life than those who do not. Yet there is so much more to goal setting than most people think. Not only do people need to be clear about what they want, they need to create an environment for success and achievement; an environment that guides and supports them, keeps them focused and on the right track.

Just think about New Year resolutions. Despite having the best intentions, most people don't make it past the 7th day of January! At Minds with Integrity we have developed a unique and personalized system that will help you move from hoping and wishful thinking to living your life according to what is really important to you. Experience immediate and tangible outcomes with a system that gets results.

The Life Navigation System is your own personal GPS; an easy and practical online DIY coaching system. It puts you in the driver's seat and more in control of your life and where you are heading.



By: Tao De Haas
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What Drives You? The Secrets To Motivating Yourself

"Your own resolution to success is more important than any other one thing." - Abraham Lincoln

Bianca rose to the sound of pigeons cooing and traffic grumbling on the street below. As she yawned and stretched, she thought about what was waiting for her that day.

She felt her motivation slowly drain away with each deadline and commitment that zipped through her thoughts. As Bianca began to wither and wilt internally, she remembered the motivation pills she had purchased last week from the Good Value Pharmacy.

There were yellow pills labeled 'Money', pink pills labeled 'Pride', green pills labeled 'Family', purple pills labeled 'Respect' and some ugly grey pills labeled 'Nagging Advice'. The chemist had told her as he dispensed the pills that some would work for her and some would not... he could never tell in advance which pills would work for which customers. With that advice in mind and a smile on her lips, Bianca reached for the one she knew would be just right for her...

One of the best things you can do for yourself on your journey of self discovery is to work out what drives you. The first step is to identify your values as they provide the fuel for your motivation and the drive behind everything you do in life. If you value something you will always find the motivation and energy to do it. If you don't value something, you will always struggle to find the motivation and energy to do it.

Values

Your values are what are important to you. They are the broad concepts that guide your decisions in life and form the basis of your character. Your values also determine how you spend your time. For example, if your most important value is health, you will spend your time quite differently from someone whose most important value is career or family.

Values also drive all your motivation. You won't pursue a course of action unless it relates to something you value at some level. Identifying your values allows you to kick-start your own motivation, set goals that are appropriate and spend time on things that are important to you.

How Your Values Are Formed

Your values come from a number of sources including your family, friends, religion, school, teachers, country and the media. They are also shaped at any time in your life by significant emotional events such as natural disasters, emotional abuse, global depression or war.

Your values change as you grow and evolve. When you change your values, you will also change some of your beliefs and the way you live life.

How To Identify Your Personal Values

Identifying your personal values helps you to:

    Understand why some issues are a problem for you;
    See why some things motivate you and others don't; and
    Identify and overcome problem areas of your life.

For example, assume you have weight issues. You determine your personal values and find that health and fitness doesn't even rate a mention within your values. You may have found the reason why you are having weight issues, i.e. health and fitness is not something you value. While this remains the case it will be very difficult for you to lose weight and gain a greater level of health and fitness in your life as you will not have any motivation to do so.

You can identify your values by asking yourself:

    What is important to me in relation to my life, career, relationships etc?
    What would cause me to leave my life, career, relationships, etc?

When you have an understanding of your values, it is useful to see how they affect your motivation.

Motivation

Your values drive your motivation. If you set goals that are aligned with your values, you will have the motivation to help you achieve them. If you set goals that are not in line with your values, it will be an uphill struggle to achieve them.

When you understand your values and their impact on how you are currently motivating yourself you will have a wonderful insight into why you achieve the results that you do in life. You will also know how to motivate yourself more effectively in the future.

Motivation comes either from within you (intrinsic motivation) or from an external source (extrinsic motivation).

Extrinsic motivationis provided by some factor external to you. It can take the form of inducements (rewards) or punishments. The rewards can be tangible or intangible (such as praise).

Intrinsic motivationis evident when you engage in an activity for its own sake without any external incentive. It appears from research done by Albert Bandura that if you have more self efficacy (belief in your own abilities to control your environment) you are more highly intrinsically motivated than other people.

As intrinsic motivation is the only one you can take with you and call upon at any time, it is the most important in terms of self motivation.

Intrinsic motivation can be broken down further into 'towards' motivation and 'away from' motivation. 'Towards' motivation is motivation towards something you want and 'away from' motivation is motivation away from something you don't want.

'Away From' Motivation

'Away from' motivation is driven by pain. Pain motivated performance is not pleasant, produces inconsistent results and disappears when the pain is no longer present.

'Away from motivation' does, however, give you a strong initial motivation to move away from the thing you don't want in your life. A problem with using this type of motivation is that you wait until things are bad before you take action to change them. Another problem is that you don't have a target or goal that you are aiming for (just something you are running from) so you don't tend to achieve results.

Sophia uses 'away from' motivation in relation to her weight. As a result she is the classic yo yo dieter. Her process goes like this. Sophia looks in the mirror and sees that she is overweight. She says to herself, 'I don't want to be fat anymore'. She then goes on a diet to ensure she is no longer fat. (She is moving away from being fat). At some point she looks in the mirror and sees that she looks fantastic and is no longer fat. As she is no longer fat, she has just lost the source of her motivation (to no longer be fat). As there is no longer any motivation, she no longer stays on the diet and discards her exercise regime. She will not be motivated to do whatever she needs to stay fit and healthy. At some point in the future she will look in the mirror and again form the judgment that she is fat and the process will start all over again.

When you are motivated away from something that you don't want in life, you tend to focus upon the very thing you don't want and that is what you attract into your life. As examples:

    If you constantly say to yourself, 'I don't want to be broke', your focus is upon being broke and that is where your unconscious mind will aim.
    If you constantly say to yourself, "I don't want to be single", your focus is upon being single and that is where your unconscious mind will aim.

Motivation away from what you don't want can motivate you, but it doesn't do so for long and you can't be sure what results you will achieve. It can give you a fantastic initial boost of energy, but you can never guarantee where you are going to end up as you don't have a firm direction in mind, just a place you want to get away from. If you use away from motivation in your life, you will tend to create a series of crises to keep yourself motivated.

'Towards' Motivation

If you use 'towards motivation' you will take action to move towards your goal and you will achieve them more often than not.

'Towards' motivation is the best way to motivate yourself. When you are motivated towards what you want, you tend to stay consistently motivated until you achieve your goal (provided you desire it enough).

When you are motivated towards what you want, you constantly set and achieve goals each time stretching yourself further. By using motivation towards what you want you give yourself a far greater chance of achieving what you want out of life.

How Do You Know If The Motivation You Use Is 'Towards' Or 'Away From' Motivation?

We now know that values drive your motivation and that motivation can be either towards what you want or away from what you don't want. Now it is time to review your values to discover whether the underlying motivation for each of your values is:

•     towards what you want; or
•     away from what you don't want.

To determine whether the underlying motivation for each value is 'towards' or 'away from' ask yourself, "Why is that value important to me?" then listen to your self-talk and note what you say to yourself. The clues to whether you are using towards or away from motivation for that value are:

You are probably using 'towards' motivation if you:

•     talk about what you do want
•     don't use comparisons in your explanation (better than, worse than, more than)

You are probably using 'away from' motivation if you:

•     talk about what you don't want
•     make comparisons in your explanation or use words such as 'better than', 'more than', 'less than', 'best' etc. (These show you are unhappy with where you currently are)
•     use words such as 'must', 'need', 'have to', 'got to' etc

As an example, assume that 'money' was your highest value in relation to your career. You then ask yourself, "Why is the value 'compensation' important to me in relation to my career?"

If your answer is, "Because I want to make a lot of money and live in luxury", the response would indicate 'towards' motivation for this value.

If your answer is, "Because I don't want to be broke and I have to be able to pay my bills", the response would indicate 'away from' motivation for this value.

Your chances of achieving goals relating to 'money' are much greater if you are using towards motivation.

If you find that you have identified 'away from' motivation in relation to any of your values, you will find:

•     This area of your life is one where you will experience the most difficulties;
•     You will not be achieving the results in this area of your life that you might wish; and
•     There are unresolved issues to be cleared away and healed in relation to this area of your life before you will experience the success you desire.

This is wonderful information to have as it identifies areas of your life for you to focus upon.

Problems With Motivation

We all experience problems with motivation at some point. Those times when you just can't seem to find the desire to do things you know you should. The problems can arise because:

•     You are low on energy. There are some easy things I'm sure you do when you are feeling 'low' to get your energy back. Remember too that sometimes in life, you need and deserve a rest.
•     The thing you are aiming towards is not something you value. (In this case, question whether you should be exerting your energy in that direction); or
•     You have a problem with your motivation strategy (see below).

If it is your motivation strategy that is causing you challenges, identify which part of the strategy is causing the problem and then use one of the following techniques to assist you to change it. If you are not motivated because:

•     You feel overwhelmed, break the goal down into smaller steps and do them one at a time.
•     You are only using 'away from' motivation, identify where you are aiming and focus upon the positive outcomes of attaining it.
•     You feel obliged to pursue the goal, either accept the goal is not for you and let it go or focus upon the positive outcomes you will get from achieving the goal.
•     You are scared, identify what could go wrong and what you would do if it did.

In Summary

If you understand your values, you will understand what motivates you and why. If you discover whether you are using towards or away from motivation in different areas of your life, you will have answers for why some parts of your life are successful and others are not. If you use one of the above techniques to overcome common motivation problems... and you take action... you should be on your way to success!



By: Petris Lapis
Petris Lapis, Director of Petris Lapis Pty Ltd the unique approach to personal growth, easy unconscious change, opening your heart and unlocking your potential in every aspect of life. Visit now to find the next course running near you. http://www.PetrisLapis.com